LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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