were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
