and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
