Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
