i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
