There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize