I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Your penis caused this!
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