just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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