im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
