I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
