you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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