Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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