Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
