we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
