Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
