he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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