he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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