So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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