He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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