she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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