Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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