I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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