Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
