brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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