the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there