they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
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I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?