It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest