I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.