dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.