I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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