Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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