it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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