nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
