she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
