You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
