i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There r osticjed everywhere
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
