yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
