Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
