I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh god it's open bar.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
