batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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