hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
