im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
