theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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