If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
