Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
