you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you didnt know i had herpes?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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