somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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