kristin has been a bad kristin
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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