**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
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