Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
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Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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