I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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