every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
