Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
