I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
