im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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