38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
