Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
