You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
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