just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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