peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
