I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
