I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
where are my eyebrows?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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