her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it's like iHOP with fire
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize