That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
