Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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